We Apply What is Right For Us, Not What is Popular

2020 has been a year of A LOT of learning.

Some of the “lessons” that we have learned this year, didn’t even have to come from books or videos. Some of the lessons may have came from what we have simply observed this year when COVID-19 had hit the world.

There was so much information everywhere. For me, that was so overwhelming. If there was one thing that I struggled with in the year 2020, it was how I was overwhelmed with so much contradicting information in terms of how I was to accomplish my goals.

I would come across advice like “make the most out of your quarantine by being as productive as you can” and “take a rest during the time of lockdown” -advice that were contradicting each other and it was everywhere.

(Or even the most recent contradicting advice with a few people telling me to use “suppose” in this post title instead of “supposed” when I was SUPPOSED to be using “supposed” – regardless, I’m changing the title.)

I was getting so much of this everywhere I looked. There was all the content I was learning from uni, all the books I was reading, and the podcasts that I listened to from time to time. On top of that, there was so much information that was coming from people on what we should do and not do.

And that wasn’t even the problem. The problem was that all the information and content that I learned contradicted each other, and there were moments when I didn’t know what information I should or should not apply to my life.

Like for instance, I would be reading a personal development book that would tell me that in order to achieve success, I have to sleep a proper eight hours and focus on my most important work that I have time for – the moment I read that, it was like a puzzle solved for me, and it was like I gained a whole new perspective.

But then, some time later, I would be listening to a podcast that would give me the opposite advice from what I read in the book. It would say that in order to achieve success, I had to hustle no matter what, and sleep was something that I would need to sacrifice. Because if I really wanted it, I would sacrifice it.

This was something that frustrated me greatly because I would be so indecisive and overthink so much – like what was I suppose to do?

• Sleep a proper eight hours BUT not have enough time to do all the work needed to accomplish my goals for the day?

OR

• Have the time during the day to do all the work that I needed to do BUT lose hours of sleep?

Don’t get me wrong though, both of these pieces of information are useful, and there is not one that is right or wrong.

The question is though, which piece of information was I going to follow?

It depends…

What I had to push myself to learn this year was deciding for myself what advice/information I was going to follow.

So what if the advice I learned from the books I’ve read, and the podcasts I listened to contradicted each other? Which one was I suppose to follow?

That was what I had to learn.

I had to learn how to decide what information I was going to apply to my life, based on my circumstances and my path.

It may sound cliche, but everyone is different. Everyone is at different stages of life and are in different circumstances.

We all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses, and there is no such thing as a secret magic formula that would work for every single individual on earth.

Lets take the sleep or work example:

If we told someone who is completely sleep-deprived that they needed to sacrifice more of their sleep so that they can have more time in the day to work on their goals, would that advice really benefit them?

Or would they benefit more from the advice to get enough hours of sleep and have the energy to focus on their most important work?

So then, the former advice would actually be more beneficial for someone who knows how to maintain their energy levels, and does have the ability to lose some amount of sleep to work on their goals throughout the day.

It’s the same with my blogs where I share different ideas based on the books that I’ve read – some of what I write won’t always apply to you.

For example, lets say that we have two people who have read my previous blog post on Boundaries. One of the courses of actions that I have mentioned were to turn off notifications.

Person A has a very high-demanding job where he needs to be contactable 24/7. He needs to be kept updated on what is happening at all times, and needs to always be reachable.

Person B on the other hand has a job which requires a lot of deep work and focus on the projects. Her phone is a major distraction to the work that she is doing, and she is always instantly drawn away by the notifications that keep popping up, believing that “there may be something important”.

So was the little suggestion that I mentioned in the blog post to ‘turn off notifications’ good? Again, there’s no right or wrong answer.

For Person B, this is a suitable course of action for her. She already has so much work to do that requires undivided focus and attention. She would benefit a lot from turning off her notifications so that she is not instantly distracted by the notifications on her phone.

On the other hand, for Person A, this may not be the most beneficial piece of information for him to apply. If he needs to be contactable 24/7, then he can’t turn off his notifications. Turning off his notifications will stop him from being updated at all times and being reachable. If he is not reachable, then it could put his job in jeopardy.

It’s the same thing if the information I gave was to turn on your notifications. Person A would benefit from this piece of information, while Person B would not.

So you can see that two people can be given the same idea and suggestion, but whether or not they apply the information depends on their own circumstances and stages in their life.

Ideas Contradict Because They Come From Different People

When you think about it, the reason why there is so much contradicting ideas and advice, is that they came from different people.

AND different people have different circumstances and stages in their life. The information we would hear is not really specific to an individual, but is instead more generalised.

That’s why it doesn’t really surprise me anymore when I come across ideas that completely contradict each other.

Like two people who achieved the same exact success have contradicting advice because they may have came from different backgrounds in their life.

For example, there are two authors whose books that I have read. They’ve achieved the same level of success, however, their advice is different. This was because one author came from a background of extreme poverty, while the other author came from a more educated and higher economic background.

I was even in a situation at uni where the teacher would give the advice to attend lectures in person rather than just watching them online. While this advice had worked for many students, it wasn’t really beneficial for me.

The reason for this was because I had hearing loss and there were many times when I would miss what the lecturer would say. Watching them online allowed me to rewind what the lecturer had said, and I wouldn’t miss anything.

Just consider though, that just because a specific piece of advice was relevant to us before, doesn’t mean that it would always be relevant for us in the future.

And just because something doesn’t apply to us now, doesn’t mean that it would never apply to us in the future.

Like while attending in-person lectures don’t benefit me now, maybe it could be beneficial for me in the future in some way.

It’s ultimately up to us which advice/information we decide to apply in our lives based on our current circumstances and situation. I’m still working on just simply dismissing the advice that doesn’t apply to me and not overthink it. Like, just because something is popular, it doesn’t mean that I have to follow it.

So just remember that there is so much contradicting advice and information out there because the people who are giving it are different.

It’s okay if we are not always resonating with everything that we hear, read, and learn.

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