How to Put Yourself First (& be the main character!)

You’re the MAIN CHARACTER of YOUR Life!!

So of course you’re going to put yourself first!

And how exactly do you do that?

Well, putting yourself first is actually one of the simplest thing you can do increase your self-confidence and self-esteem!

It may get a bit challenging, especially when there can be so much demand around us. We may be working or studying where we have so many deadlines. We may have people who rely on us. We may have commitments that require our undivided attention.

But how good are we at putting ourselves first always at the end of the day? What can we do to put ourselves first? Are there any easy but very effective things we can do?

This blog post is going to outline 5 Ways to Put Yourself First! They are things you can easily implement and start adding into your life NOW!

You’ll see that those things are easy, but can be effective in the long run when you take the step to implement them! Here they are:

1 – Turn Off Notifications WHEN You’re Doing Something Important

This is actually one of the easiest ways to put yourself first. Turning notifications off when you’re doing something important is considered putting yourself. This something important can include (but not limited to):

• When you’re working on something important for your work , studies, or business
• When you’re with friends and family
• When you’re doing your self-care time
• When you’re working out
• When you’re eating

Pretty much anything that requires your full undivided attention, and you being grounded in the present moment.

Because, think about this, when you are always distracted by every single notification while you’re doing those important things, you’re actually putting those notifications first over your own.

That is why doing important tasks, whether it’s related to work or it’s your personal life, doing them without any distractions is an easy way to show yourself that you’re putting yourself first.

You’re the main character of your life right? YOU get to control what you need to do. YOU get to control what distractions you need to get out of the way. YOU have control on what has your attention, make the most of it!

SO what is the best way to turn off notifications? Well, there are one of three options you can choose from.

GO all OUT

By going all out, I mean getting rid of ALL notifications for ALL apps that is not a messaging or calling app (like messenger, Whatsapp) or a reminders app.

I mean, do you really need notifications for any of the other apps?

Do you really need notifications for that games app that tells you that you’re energy is filled up?

Do you really need notifications from Uber Eats saying they have another deal for you?

Do you really need notifications from Facebook saying that someone sent you a friend request?

The point here is that you don’t really benefit from any of these notifications. How many times did you look forward to a new notification only for it to turn out that it was for some random app.

So if you don’t need those notifications, TURN them off!!

Just be INTENTIONAL

If getting rid of all notifications except for the messaging and reminders apps is too much, the next best thing you can do is to just be intentional with what you have notifications for.

Still, get rid of the notifications that doesn’t add much value to you. You would know which ones they are. If it doesn’t get you to click on the notification, you don’t need it.

For instance, there are plenty of useful apps out there such as fitness and habits app that remind you to workout or to do your habits, those are okay! As long as you are self-aware of those notifications, and make sure that they don’t distract you from your other priorities.

Being intentional with your notifications also means knowing which notifications you’ll actually click on. If you’re not turning off your notifications, then at least know how to look at the notification when it pops up, and not get distracted by it. If you lack self-discipline, you’ll probably end up doing the first suggestion anyway.

Regardless, just be intentional and self-aware. That’s that’s the most important part!

Put your phone on Do NOT Disturb or AIRPLANE Mode

Okay, so if those past suggestions don’t fit right with you, the least you can do is just to simply put your phone on Do Not Disturb or Airplane Mode whenever you doing any sort of important thing.

It’s the next best way to temporarily prevent those distractions while you’re doing those important tasks. You want to limit those distractions as much as possible, so the least you can do is just to not hear your phone buzzing off with notifications while you’re trying to focus.

There are many digital habits aside from turning off notifications that can also really help as well! Definitely check out this blog post on digital habits for personal growth!! You’d want to read it!

2 – Saying No

This is something you’ve probably heard a billion times as well.

When people tell you to put yourself first, one common tip is to say no.

My favourite saying that relates to this tip is:

When you say yes to something, you say no to another

And that is completely spot on! When you say no to something, you make room for another.

When you say yes to something, you lose room for another.

I’ll admit, it’s hard to say no at times! Especially when it’s something that could help another person or could even help us in a way! But if it doesn’t contribute to our priorities or our goals, then we really have to consider if we need to take it on!

One of the reasons why it may be hard to say no is because we lack self-awareness on what’s actually important to us. Because how can you say no if you don’t even know if this particular task will contribute better to your life? Here’s an easy tip:

List your values & your priorities

This is all you have to do!

All you have to do is literally list down the things that are important to you. It may be:

• Health
• Family
• Work
• Studies
• Social Life
• Side Hustle
• Any BIG goal you’re working towards

You need to be self-aware of your values and priorities so that when things pop up, opportunities are given to you, or someone asks you to do something, all you have to do is see if they contribute to any of the values and priorities you’ve listed above.

If they do, then say YES! If they don’t, then say NO! Of course there are exceptions, but knowing your values and priorities would make it a lot easier to determine if you’re going to be saying yes or no to something.

3 – Limiting Social Media

Here’s something I recently thought about – whenever you are CONSUMING social media, you’re not putting yourself first.

Let me first get this out of the way, we are talking about CONSUMING social media and not CREATING social media. There’s a difference!

Because, when you’re consuming social media, the main purpose of it is to stay updated with what’s going on in other peoples’ lives or what other people are creating. That’s fine.

However, when you’re doing more of consuming than building the dream life of your own, that’s when you’re not putting yourself first.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with consuming social media every once in a while, but you need to have a limit. Why would you want to spend more time looking at other peoples’ lives when you could use that time to build your own dream life?

Spend more time building the life you want. You’re the main character in your life right? Of course you want to spend time working on your goals and your dreams. Wouldn’t you want to do that over looking at what someone else is doing?

Pinky promise, you’re not going to miss out on anything! You’re building your own dream life, of course you’re not going to miss out on anything! Limit the social media consuming, and spend more time on your own life!

4 – Limiting the News

Yes, it’s important to stay updated on what’s going on. BUT do you need to constantly, every single hour, read or watch the news?

You can read news updates, but similar to what we had said previously with limiting social media, YOU need to have a limit.

The last thing you want to do is spend all your time in your day, keeping up what’s going on in the outside world, and have less time to use for your own personal goals.

You can stay updated with the news, but don’t let that time you use for that outweigh the time you use to spend working on your goals.

So, how do you keep yourself updated with what’s going on while at the same time limiting the amount of news you consume? It’s easier than you think.

1. Set ONE short TIME BLOCK for consuming the news – instead of checking it every chance you get, you’ll actually schedule in a time during the day where you just read or watch the news. Instead of mindlessly checking news articles, you’re more mindful of it, and only check it during your time block.
2. Pick the most RELIABLE and ACCURATE news sources – there are so many news sources out there that don’t give the most accurate information. That’s why, pick wisely the ONLY news sources you’ll read during your set time blocks. These are the only news sources you’ll read to stay updated.
3. Unfollow ALL News – unfollow the news from social media, including Facebook and Instagram! I don’t really need to explain further, but you need to keep your headspace as clear as possible during the day.

5 – Listening to Your Body

Then we have, listening to your body.

Think about this, isn’t it rude to not listen to someone? Obviously, the answer is yes, it’s very rude to not listen to someone.

So, if someone is telling you something, and you completely ignore it, aren’t you being rude?

Of course, when you look at it like that, you are being extremely rude.

It’s the same exact thing with your own body.

If your own body is telling you that you need to take a break and you still push yourself to work, you’re being rude to your body.

If your body is telling you that you need to stay away from the junk food and eat more of those certain foods, and you don’t, you’re being rude to your body.

If your body is telling you to sleep already, and you still continue to work until dawn, you’re ignoring your body!

You are technically being “rude” to your body.

Listen to your body instead! Don’t be rude to your body. Your body knows you so well… LISTEN to it! You’re not just listening to someone else’s opinion or story, this is YOUR body that we’re talking about.

So don’t be a rude person and ignore it. Listen to it instead.

And how do you do that? How do you even know if your body is telling you something? Well, here are a few things that can definitely help:

When you know, you’ll know

Yes, I know it sounds like one of those love advice… “when you know, you’ll know”

But seriously, this applies to the body context as well! When you know, you’ll know.

You’ll know if you need to take a rest. You’ll know if your body actually needs rest and is not being lazy.

You’ll know when your body needs more of the fruits and veggies. You’ll feel it.

You’ll know when your body needs more sleep. Your energy levels will show you.

Like that love advice, when you know, you’ll know. Because you know yourself more than anybody else at the end of the day. No one else can “be in your body”. No one else can tell you if you need more rest or you need to keep going. Only YOU know!

Give yourself non-negotiable rest before you NEED it

This is so important!

Think about how you put gas/petrol in the car before you need. Because if you run out of gas, it’s going to be too late to put it in.

It’s the same with your body! Give yourself rest before you need it. Even if you don’t feel like it, have that non-negotiable rest, do it anyway.

Motivate yourself to do some self-care, it’s okay to have unproductive days every once in a while! You need it!

Don’t let your battery die

If you wouldn’t let your phone battery die, don’t let your battery die!

Just like a phone, we do many things daily, but there will come a time when we need to rest and recharge.

Just like how with a phone, we leave it to charge so it can have the battery power to do its usual functions, it’s the same with us! If we need to rest and recharge so we can have the energy to do the things we usually do.

Be Kind to Yourself, ALWAYS!!

I’ll leave you with this, be kind to yourself at all times!

If putting yourself first is something that you’re not used to, it will take time to get used to it! It’s 100% okay!

Just take one small step at a time, because overtime they will make a big difference.

Try one tip at a time, and then once you master it, do the other. Take your time if you need to. As long as your taking steps forward (even if it’s just the smallest step), you are going to do amazing!

So put yourself first, and take those small steps, you can do this!!

Lauren 😊

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Related Articles:

How to Actually Invest in Yourself

Greatest Self-Care Actions for Each Area of Your Life!

Best Personal Development Practices to Start Using NOW!

The Ultimate Personal Development Checklist!

Easy Self-Care Tips for More Self-Love!!

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