![How to Plan the Perfect SELF-Date [Date Yourself Series #1]](https://i0.wp.com/laurenbarri.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/photo_2022-05-15_15-03-49.jpg?fit=977%2C1280&ssl=1)
The date with yourSELF!
I remember when there were so many things I wanted to try out BUT would only try out if I had a friend to try it out with. If there was no one around to try out this activity with me, I wouldn’t try it altogether.
And now, not only do I just simply try it out by myself, I actually rather try it out by myself. This was through the power of having self-dates!
What’s a self-date anyway? Well, the name is in itself… a date with YOURSELF. Where it’s you and only you that’s on that date.
Honestly, self-dates are lifechanging. I started making them non-negotiable to do every week and they’ve helped me build a better relationship with myself. But I understand that for some, it can be challenging at first. Doing things on your own and going out on your own can feel pretty nerve wracking, but I promise that the more you do them, the better you feel!
So that’s why this blog post is going to go through how to plan the perfect SELF-date. It will go through steps on how to plan a self-date that you will genuinely enjoy. You’ll learn the ways on making it an enjoyable experience, and not an experience that you feel nervous about.
This blog post is definitely for all those who feel like they need to do more self-dates and don’t know where to start! No matter what, we can all benefit from learning how to make a self-date more enjoyable.
Self-dates are also a great way to do self-care! Since self-care is me-time, and self-dates count as me-time, it is self-care!
After you read this blog post, you can definitely check out the blog posts on how to motivate yourself to do your self-care, and how to build a better relationship with yourself! These blog posts will definitely help you build a better relationship with yourself through time… with yourself.
If you have self-date ideas you would love to share, please share it with me! I’m still always looking for new ideas too!
Let’s get into these steps.
1 – Write Down WHAT you enjoy doing
When it comes to planning any dates or catchups, typically there may be a few things that you already enjoy doing.
It’s the same with self-dates.
List down activities that you already enjoy. If you know they make you feel excited, happy, and you find them fun, then of course, why not do it more often.
By doing things you enjoy, you will enjoy your self-date even more!
2 – Brainstorm Ideas
If you are stuck on ideas and can’t seem to think of anything, that’s okay! You can find new ideas pretty much anywhere.
The first place to look is definitely Pinterest. Search up self-dates or just date ideas in general, and you’ll find numerous ideas. List down the ones that really appeal to you. If you haven’t tried any of them before, it’s a great time to! You never know if you’re going to enjoy something if you don’t try it.
The next place is also YouTube. YouTube also have many videos on there that can give you some really good self-date ideas. Again, if you haven’t done any of those before, it’s the perfect time to try it!
Then, you can always go back to Google which will also give you different articles, blogs, or websites that provide self-date ideas. With the amount of information you can find on the internet, there’s no doubt that you’ll find a self-date idea that will appeal to you.
3 – Keep a List!
Whether you had created a list of self-date ideas that you already enjoy, or you had found new ones on Pinterest or YouTube, or have the mixture between the two, it’s a good list to reference!
The thing is, you always want to have a list to refer to just in case you run out of ideas. You want to be able to do self-dates regularly, and by having a list of ideas ready to go, you’ll never have the excuse of “I don’t know what activity to do”.
And also, it’s exciting to try new things once in a while, and also regularly do the things you already enjoy. Doing the same activity over and over again may make you feel bored, and when you feel bored, you feel ummotivated.
That’s why, keep the excitement going and mix it up! In the process, you learn more about yourself and what you love most!
4 – Plan a Day & Time + Schedule it in
Whether you’re going on a actual date or catching up with friends, this is the obvious step. You agree on a day & time, and you schedule it in. You only would really cancel only IF you really have to.
It’s the exact same with you. With your self-date, you’re going to schedule in a day & time that you’re going to have the self-date. This is something that you will prioritise, and you’ll only cancel only IF you really have to.
Of course, people would have their reasons why they would have to cancel a date or a catch up which is completely understandable. It’s when you notice that they keep cancelling all the time with all these different excuses that you start to wonder what’s up.
It’s the same with self-dates. There may be different understandable reasons why you may have to cancel your self-date. But if your brain notices that you keep cancelling on the self-date all the time, then it may start to wonder whether this time for yourself is even a priority.
If you don’t like the idea of cancelling on everyone all the time, then don’t cancel on yourself. Prioritise YOU and schedule in your self-date like a important appointment.
5 – Get Dressed!
This is an obvious one too. But think about it, whether you’re hanging out with a friend or you’re going on a date, you want to look good right?
So you don’t want that to change when it’s your self-date. You still want to dress up for yourself.
Dress up for yourself brings out more confidence in you, and you can walk into your self-date feeling more confident. Understandably, doing self-dates can feel nerve wracking in the beginning. But by dressing up and feeling confident, it can help you feel better about it all. Think about it, if you’re already nervous to go on a self-date, and you don’t dress your best, you may feel a bit more self-conscious and not enjoy the self-date as much as you would like.
You don’t have to dress all formal and fancy. Dress in a way that it makes you feel confident and excited!
6 – Document the Memories
What are one of the main things you do when you hang out with friends or go on a date? You document the memories by taking photos.
Do the same with your self-dates! Take pictures of the activities you’re doing… and don’t forget the selfies! Use some self-timer skills to take some photos, or ask someone to take it for you.
Document the time you’re having on your self-date. It’s quite exciting to look back at your photos and see the photos of the self-dates you’re having with yourself!
So don’t forget about the photos of your self-dates!
BONUS – have monthly & weekly traditions!
A bonus step is something that I’ve been doing for myself for a long time now, and it’s life changing!
It’s having either monthly or weekly traditions (or both!) for yourself!
In the lists you have made above, there may be activities that you really enjoy, so why not make it a tradition to them either every week or every month?
Having monthly or weekly traditions for yourself is a great way to remember to do the things that you love doing regularly. Most people say that they love doing a certain activity, but don’t make the time to do them.
By having these monthly and weekly traditions, you know that every week or month, you like to do this activity for yourself. You make time to do this activity because it’s a tradition. When people have traditions (whether in culture or religion), they do their very best to make sure they do that tradition no matter what. It’s the same with your self-traditions.
Here are a list of my weekly and monthly traditions to help get you started:
Weekly Traditions
- Minimum one self-date a week.
- Do a work or study session at the cafe.
- Go through one lesson of a self-pace course.
- Muay Thai Kickboxing Classes.
- Visit one place with a water view.
- Catch up with minimum one friend.
Monthly Traditions
- Tour a new part of the city solo.
- Solo Hike.
- Self-Date at the Movie Cinemas.
- Self-date at the Arcade.
- Visit a small town (every two months)
Now… come up with some traditions yourself!
Take a SMALL STEP
Now it’s your turn to plan the perfect self-date! Your action steps are simply to go through the steps listed in this blog post. Here’s a summary of the steps to take:
- List down what you enjoy doing.
- Brainstorm new ideas.
- Keep a list.
- Schedule in a day & time.
- Get dressed.
- Document the memories.
Self-Dates are lifechanging!
Ever since I started making these self-dates a non-negotiable weekly thing, it was life changing! I felt a difference to how I felt, and I built a better relationship with myself.
Even though in the beginning I was a bit nervous to start doing things by myself (even when no one was available to try new things I wanted to try with me), by knowing the activities I enjoy most and regularly trying out new activities, it became more and more exciting for me.
Most importantly, when I started prioritising myself, especially these self-dates, it told my mind that I am always going to prioritise me, and it’s not a selfish thing to do. No matter what I do I’m always going to be making memories, so mind as well make ones with myself too.
So if you haven’t yet already, start planning a self-date! As long as you stay safe and aware, you’ll enjoy the time with yourself…. you have nothing to lose by building a better relationship with you!
-Lauren 😊
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Related Articles:
How to Build a Better Relationship with Yourself
How to Put Yourself First and Become The Main Character of Your Life!
The Five Essential Self-Care Practices
Self-Love Habits for Ultimate Self-Discovery!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, this is Lauren! I’m a law grad from Melbourne, Australia. On laurenbarri.com, I create content on all things personal development, productivity, self-care, and habits! I am super passionate about these topics because of how they helped me in all areas of my life, and I want to share it with others!
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