The idea of taking yourself out on dates.
Taking myself out on dates has been life-changing for me. I had built a better relationship with myself, and I got so used to being on my own that it was not as scary as it used to be.
But I know that it may not be the case for some. I know that in the beginning, the idea of taking myself out on dates seemed intimidating, and cringe as well! After seeing how self-dates helped me, I’ve learned a few lessons along the way on what helped me get comfortable with it.
That’s what I’ll be sharing with you! You’ll be learning how to get comfortable with self-dates. This blog post is for anyone who wants to build a better relationship with themselves. If you don’t feel like doing self-dates at this moment, I suggest you read along 
And, I’m also down for other self-date ideas! If you have a self-date that you normally do, let me know in the comments. I’m the only one that sees them so you can be as open as you’d like!
Let’s dive in.
Benefits of Self-Dates
If the idea of self-dates seems a bit intimidating, let’s start with some benefits of self-dates!
- You Build a Better Relationship with Yourself – Think about how a couple builds a better relationship by going on dates. It’s the same with you! When you go on self-dates, you progress in your relationship with yourself.
- You discover more about yourself – The more different self-dates you do, the more you discover about yourself and who you are!
- You build more self-love – The more time you spend with your own company, the more your self-love increases.
- You get to know yourself better – That’s what couple dates are for right? They go on dates to get to know each other better. It’s the same with self-dates.
- You improve your lifestyle – You also improve your lifestyle because of the alone time you get. Alone time improves your life because you start to build yourself.
- You know what you like and dislike – When you try different self-dates, you learn a bit more about yourself and what you like (and dislike).
- You get used to being in your own company – The only person you’ll be with forever is yourself, so you mind as well get used to being in your own company.
How to Get Comfortable With Self-Dates
Step-by-Step
1 – Pick activities you love & keep a list
It’s important to have a go-to list of activities that you enjoy. This will give you a variety of options on activities to do for your self-dates.
And it’s okay to pick activities that you are comfortable with! You may not feel safe and comfortable doing activities on your own, and that’s okay!
For example, you may feel good about going to a restaurant by yourself, but not a hike. Always pick activities that make you feel comfortable.
2 – Regular note what you enjoy doing
It’s also a good habit to regularly note what you enjoy doing. This is so you can add those activities to your go-to list.
When you try new activities, you also discover more about yourself. Take note of the activities that you truly enjoy and love doing in your own company. You can find new ideas for self-date activities on YouTube, Pinterest, Google, and Instagram. You’ll never know if you like an activity unless you try it, so don’t forget to give them a go.
What might help with this is reflecting on the self-date. After every self-date, you can reflect on how it improved the relationship you have with yourself. Reflect on how you felt.
Think about whether you enjoyed the activity or not. Either way, it’s a self-discovery. The more self-dates you do, the more you learn about yourself.
3 – The more you do self-dates, the more comfortable you get with them
Practice makes perfect! The more self-dates you do, the easier it will be and the more comfortable you’ll be with them!
At the start, it may feel scary. But the more self-dates you do, the more you get used to them and get used to spending time in your own company.
4 – Safety First
While we did talk about the benefits of having self-dates, we’re not going to forget about safety.
That’s why we emphasized doing activities that you feel personally comfortable doing on your own.
Following your intuition is important here. If you feel uncomfortable doing an activity by yourself, that’s okay. Do the activities that you feel safe doing.
5 – Dress up
When you’re spending time with other people, you probably want to look your best right? That shouldn’t change with your self-date.
When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you enjoy the self-date more.
For example, if you just showed up wearing sweatpants, you probably don’t feel your best. And when you don’t feel your best, you also may not enjoy your self-date as much.
Other Self-Date Mistakes
Here are some other self-date mistakes to avoid so you can make sure that you’ll make the most of your self-date:
- Copying what everyone else is doing – There are common activities that everyone enjoys doing on their own. However, at the end of the day, do the activities you truly enjoy, whether it’s popular or not.
- Bringing someone with you – It’s called a self-date for a reason, right?
- Not scheduling in a time – Schedule your self-date like you’re scheduling a catch-up with a friend. Or like it’s an important appointment.
- Not making it non-negotiable – Don’t make this something you prioritize last. Instead, make it something that you prioritize each week.
Final Reminders
Here are some final reminders to help you feel comfortable to start taking yourself out on dates:
- It’s supposed to feel scary at the start, but you’ll get used to it the more self-dates you do
- Treat your self-date like you would catch up with a friend – dress well & document the memories.
- Self-dates are super productive!
- You only truly know yourself when you’re by yourself. That’s why self-dates are powerful!
Take a SMALL STEP
Here are some small steps to help you apply the things we discussed in this blog post:
- Make a list of your favorite activities.
- Plan your next self-date – you can read this blog post for the steps!
- Schedule your next self-date in your calendar!
To wrap up
Have fun on your next self-date! Again, it’s such a great way to build a better relationship with yourself, get to know yourself better, and boost your self-love! By knowing which activities you enjoy doing, having regular self-dates, and being mindful of your safety, you’ll get used to the idea of taking yourself out on dates.
If you need help with self-dates, I have a very helpful free resource for you! You can download the Self-Date Workbook and Self-Date list that is available in the Free Resources Library! This is a step-by-step guide to help you feel more comfortable with your self-dates. You can access the Free Resources Library here, where you can also access my free book, Small Steps to Progression.
In the meantime, I hope this blog post helped in some way, especially by helping you build a better relationship with yourself through self-dates!
-Lauren :))
P.S – I recommend you read these past blog posts:
- How to Plan a Self-Date
- Self-Date Habits
- Quick Guide of Self-Care Activities and Resources – there are some ideas for self-dates there!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, this is Lauren! I’m a lawyer from Melbourne, Australia. On laurenbarri.com, I create content on all things personal development, productivity, self-care, and habits! I am super passionate about these topics because of how they helped me in all areas of my life, and I want to share it with others!
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