24 lessons I learned at 24

I’m officially 24!

Of course, I need to do my annual birthday post, which I’ve been doing since I started this blog.

Here are some lessons that I’ve learned this year, based on what I’ve journalled and also little random things I’ve thought of too.

Let’s dive in.

1 – Achievements don’t magically make self-doubt disappear

Let me just tell you – I became a lawyer, and guess what…. all the personal self-doubt I’ve had didn’t magically disappear. It is still there.

This goes for all my other achievements too. I’ve learned that anything I’ve accomplished will not make the self-doubt disappear. In fact, self-doubt isn’t something that just “disappears”. Instead, self-doubt is something that you work on every single day, some days more than others, depending on what life throws you that day.

So I’ll admit, I’m proud to be a lawyer, but everything I have self-doubt about is still there, and I’m still working on it every day.

2 – Being hard on myself doesn’t speed things up

I was hard on myself for not starting the lawyer admissions process early because then I missed a deadline.

However, as much as I don’t want to admit it, being hard on myself didn’t speed the process up. Looking back, I could’ve relaxed a bit more because there were so many things in that admission process that were beyond my control (they were mainly things that I was waiting for).

This is the lesson I’m striving to carry with me.

3 – Self-criticism only drains my energy

I’ll be honest in saying that battling self-criticism is a daily thing because I can be my worst critic.

When I started reflecting on what lessons I should share for my birthday post, the first thing I thought about was my inner critic. I thought about how every day I need to actively work on my self-talk.

I asked myself, what was I gaining from being self-critical? When I answered that in my head, I realized that I wasn’t gaining anything from being critical of myself. Instead, I was draining my own energy.

4 – I can be ambitious without being my own worst enemy

Let me tell you… I have big goals for myself. I’ll also tell you that as a result, I can be my worst enemy sometimes.

I can become my worst enemy by beating myself up when I’m not productive, I didn’t 100% complete my habits, I’m behind on schedule, I should have been X by now, and the list goes on.

I’ve realized that I don’t have to be my worst enemy in the process of working on my goals. I can be ambitious and optimistic without beating myself up over little things.

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5 – Comparison is a losing game

This is my BIGGEST LESSON that I’m still reminding myself of.

I’ve compared myself to other people in so many areas of my life: career (like when I failed 8 classes in law school and delayed my graduation, while all my peers that I started with graduated already), love, and even content creation.

I was told so many times to stop comparing myself because it is a thief of joy. And I know that they’re right. In fact, I am also so aware that it’s a losing game. So, I learned this lesson, however, I’m still reminding myself of this every day, even when it gets hard.

6 – The days I show up, even when I don’t feel like it (and it’s not my 100%) are still a step forward

This lesson was so made for me because I’m all about small steps. I’m all about small steps when it comes to starting something and also during days when you don’t feel like giving your 100%.

There were multiple days (I can’t even count it) where I didn’t feel like I could give 100%. Whether I felt burnt out, mentally drained, or I was going through something that was draining my energy, I got upset at myself for not giving 100%.

But I’ve got to practice what I blog about right? Reminding myself that small steps forward is still a step forward.

7 – Self-improvement isn’t about “fixing” myself

One of my biggest battles in my personal development journey is feeling like I always need to “fix” myself.

By “fix” myself I mean, getting rid of all my triggers, trauma, fears, and being positive all the time.

One of the most helpful lessons I’ve learned so far this year is that personal development and self-improvment isn’t about fixing myself at all. Instead, it’s about accepting who you are now while also striving to become better. It’s about becoming better without beating yourself up in the process.

8 – I can have self-confidence but still struggle with self-doubt

Whenever I have a moment of self-confidence, I usually dismiss it because I still have self-doubt.

However, I’ve learned that even the most confident people out there still struggle with self-doubt. In fact, the thing that makes them more confident are doing the things that scare them despite their fear.

Self-confidence isn’t about being 100% all the time. Self-confidence is mainly when you do and take action even when you’re scared. It’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

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9 – Stop feeling guilty for resting

I remember that one of my earliest blog posts was about how it’s okay to be unproductive at times. To be specific, by being “unproductive”, I mean resting.

I learned this lesson years ago but I still have to remind myself of it because there were times this year when I was upset at myself for taking a day off, even though I needed the rest to not burn out.

Now that I’m a lawyer, I’ve been practicing having days off or even hours off guilt-free where I’m not doing anything “productive”. It has been working because I end up feeling more energized than drained.

10 – My emotions are valid, but they don’t have to control me

“I just want to be heard” “I just want to feel understood” “I feel like no one gets me”.

These are the things I say whenever I need someone to listen while I’m upset or frustrated. I’ll admit that there were times when I’ve spiraled when I got upset or frustrated. There were a couple of days when it got to the point where I couldn’t get anything done.

It’s always a work in progress, but I’m learning to remind myself that my emotions are valid and are not being dismissed AND at the same time, it doesn’t have to control me. Lesson learned, but still a work in progress :))

11 – Not everything needs to be figured out at once

I figured out my career (I’m a lawyer now) BUT I still haven’t figured out where I want to live long-term, anything related to love, and whether I want to buy a house or be a digital nomad.

I began to accept that I don’t need to figure this out in one go. If I figured it out in one go, then I lose the opportunity for self-discovery.

The one thing that keeps me going is that I learn more about myself along the way. Self-discovery is so powerful and one of the ways you do this is when you figure things out as you go.

12 – Hard work is important BUT so is slowing down

I worked hard this year and yes, I’m showing this off. I worked my butt off for my law degree, becoming a lawyer, and also the content that I’ve created.

However, I have learned that rest is just as important. To work hard and accomplish things, you need to have rest & recharge. Yes, in the moment it feels like there is no progress because afternall, you’re doing nothing.

However, rest and slowing down is a necessity for productivity because you will not be able to work hard anyway if you are burnt out.

13 – Feeling behind doesn’t mean I actually am

PSA – still learning this lesson.

I felt like I was falling behind in my career because I didn’t graduate law school at the same time as my first-year peers. But I got the career anyway.

I currently feel like I’m falling behind with love. Sometimes I tell myself “I have a feeling that X will happen” without realizing that feelings are NOT facts. Hence, if I feel like I’m falling behind, it doesn’t mean that it’s a fact. I’m still reminding myself of this every day.

14 – The version of me now is who I once dreamed of

I now work as a lawyer. I am now building a small community within my blog and TikTok. 14-year-old me would never.

The 14-year-old me who watched Law & Order SVU and Legally Blonde has always dreamed of being a lawyer… and I became one!

This is what I reflect on whenever I have moments that I feel behind.

15 – Setbacks don’t erase my progress

I have felt like my setbacks erased my progress the moment my freelance writing business failed. There were also a few personal setbacks as well.

The reason why I beat myself up over it is because I get scared that it erased all the progress I have made.

Looking back, I learned that it does the opposite. When I learned from the setbacks and implement the lessons moving forward, setbacks become my stepping stone to success. But only when I take it as a learning lesson.

16 – Stop measuring yourself against a timeline that doesn’t exist

Apologies, but I still find myself slipping with this. I learned the lesson more than ever this year, but I still struggle with letting go of my timeline, especially when it comes to love.

I acknowledge that I’m the only one that is upset over this. I know that this timeline is what I created in my head.

Rest assured, I learned this lesson, and working on reminding myself whenever I get scared I’m drifting from my timeline.

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17 – I can’t control EVERYTHING and that’s okay

In the back of my head, I know that you can only control the things you can control but let go of the things you can’t.

For example, when I was submitting my documents for admissions, the only thing I can control is submitting my documents. What I couldn’t control was waiting for the documents (e.g. getting my academic transcript from my university). In the end, I still submitted the documents by the deadline and got admitted in the timeframe I wanted.

You’ve got to admit though, it is nice to have control because you have reassurance that way. I still need to always let things be.

18 – Trying to control the outcome will create stress

Just like above, whenever I try to control the things I can’t control, I get stressed.

Same thing with my admissions documents. I knew that I wanted to get admitted as a lawyer in February but there was a tight deadline. When I tried to control the things I can’t control instead of accepting the outcome whatever it may be, I felt stressed.

Right now, I’m trying to control the outcome with whether I find love or not, and it is causing me stress. So, working on this.

19 – I don’t need every answer right now

There were many things that happened this year where I didn’t understand why it was happening, and now I do.

For example, when I got laid off before my 23rd birthday, I didn’t understand why at the time and struggled to understand the answer. Now, I realize that I was meant to get laid off so I can move to Melbourne to be with my family, and I love my life in Melbourne much better. Plus I love my new job too.

There are still some unanswered questions that I don’t have the answers to yet (like why haven’t I still found my person even though many people my age and younger than me already did). But giving myself the reassurance that the eventually will come by eventually.

20 – Fear is not a stop sign

I’ve pushed through fear during every solo trip (international and domestic), any time I do something at work that is outside my comfort zone, and so much more.

Fear does this thing to you where it feels like it’s telling you STOP! And you get that feeling that you need to stop.

I’ve noticed that when I get this feeling, and I still do the thing, I build so much self-confidence and I feel better about myself. So that’s why, fear is not always a stop sign. Fear protects you from your brain’s worst case scenarios, but it needs to be proven wrong by actually taking the action.

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21 – Remove rose-colored glasses from social media

I know in the back of my head that social media is a highlight reel and I shouldn’t compare my behind-the- scenes.

I want to take it a step forward and say and remind myself that I need to remove my rose-colored glasses whenever I scroll on social media because it seems like the only thing I see is people’s best lives.

I feel like removing the “rose-colored glasses” works better because it helps me switch off the part of my brain that compares my behind-the-scenes to other people’s highlights.

22 – Acknowledge the growth I have now

I know that there is still more growing to do, however, there is still so much growth that I already have.

I’ll admit that I don’t give myself enough credit sometimes for the growth I’ve already accomplished – both the personal growth AND the tangible growth (e.g. in my career, social media, etc).

Because again, you can still work on yourself and be a work in progress, while still acknowledging that you are already doing so well.

23 – Setbacks just mean that I’m learning

Just like what I mentioned in Lesson 15, setbacks (when you learn from it) are a stepping stone to success. To take it a step further, whenever you experience a setback, it means that you’re learning something new.

My setback when my freelance writing business failed? I learned that freelance writing is not for me and I just prefer it as a hobby.

My setbacks when I failed 8 classes in law school? I learned of multiple study strategies that didn’t work for me plus I learned to be resilient too.

24 – The best is yet to come

I’ll admit that I’m a little scared for the future.

But I’m also excited at the same time for what life has in store for me.

There has already been things I’ve accomplished and got to experience, and I’m excited to see the new things that will happen.

See you next year!

-Lauren 🙂

P.S these are my other birthday blog posts:

• 20th birthday
• 21st birthday
• 22nd birthday
• 23rd birthday

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