Something to Think About First When Starting a New Habit

I have always wondered why it’s always so hard to start a good habit, but so easy to end up having a bad one…

If you’ve read my blog post on how Atomic Habits had emphasised the idea on focusing on our systems over our goals, then you may have already been aware that the key to accomplishing our desired results are in our systems.

In this blog post, it will focus on how we can change our systems so that we are able to build habits that will allow us to accomplish our desired outcomes.

I know that for me, there has been countless times when I tried to acquire a new habit or break bad ones.

Like I know that recently, I’ve tried to acquire the habit on writing every day, especially since I have this blog now. The bad habit that I’ve been trying to break is my snacking habit.

In the past, the habits that I’ve tried to acquire has been to read every day and incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet. Meanwhile, the habit that I tried to break was my TV habit.

The only difference between the way that I have acquired and broken new habits now to the way I have done so before, is how I approached them. It was actually only one little difference.

We already know that for us to accomplish our goals, we need to change our systems. So for us to change our systems, there’s one thing that we need to look at and change first.

Focusing first on the “WHO” before the “WHAT”

In terms of good habits, although we put in the effort and have some motivation, there are still times when it feels difficult to stay consistent with them.

I mean, how many habits have we tried to start where it seemed reasonable after a few days of doing them, but then afterwards they become such a hassle to keep them up?

BUT the weird thing is that it’s the exact opposite for our bad habits. It’s so easy to fall back into them. Bad habits are hard to break just as hard it is to keep up with good habits.

In Atomic Habits, it mentioned that the reason why it is hard to either break or acquire a new habit, is that we keep focusing on the wrong thing – the “WHAT”.

Like for instance, when I was trying to acquire the habit of wanting to eat healthier, I decided that the action I was going to take was to eat more fruits and vegetables, and stay away from junk food.

But then what happened? I started to crave junk food, and whenever I saw it in front of me, I kept asking myself, “would I feel guilty eating this?” and 100% of the time, the answer was always no, but I will still eat it anyway as a “treat” to myself. Then eventually I just stopped all the good habits I tried to acquire, and fell back into those bad habits.

After finally understanding how habits start and work, I realised that whenever I intended to start a new habit or break a bad one, I always jumped straight to the actions that I believed that I needed to accomplish that goal.

Instead, I was supposed to focus first on “WHO” I needed to become in order to accomplish that goal. I needed to establish in me that identity that comes with accomplishing that particular outcome.

For example:

One blog post is the goal – becoming a writer/blogger is the identity.

Learning how to write songs is the goal – becoming a songwriter is the identity.

Learning how to design clothes is the goal – becoming a fashion designer is the identity.

In my case with the previous habit I tried to acquire – while incorporating more fruits and vegetables into my diet was the goal, becoming a healthy person was the identity.

Asking the Right Questions

If you’re like me and need a step-by-step method to implement everything, then that’s what I am going to outline. It’s three simple steps:

Step 1 – Establish a Goal

Of course, in order to know what identity we need to become, and the processes we need to undertake, we first need a goal. The goal will provide the initial direction.

If you’re like me and need examples to understand the explanations, then that’s what I am about to give.

For this blog post, lets look at these three goals:

• Becoming a good tutor
• Have clearer skin
• Attain a desired body goal

Step 2 – Identify the Identity (the WHO)

Like mentioned above, instead of jumping straight to what we need to do, we first think about the person we need to become to achieve the goal.

So in terms of our goals, we identify the identity that comes with accomplishing it. Using the examples from Step 1:

• Becoming a good tutor is the goal – a good tutor may be considered organised and patient with their students, therefore being an organised and patient person is the identity.
• Having clearer skin is the goal – a person who has the skin that we’d like to have may be considered very protective on what they put onto their face, therefore being protective is the identity.
• Accomplishing a desired body transformation is the goal – a person who has the body we desire may be considered healthy with their exercise and eating habits, therefore being a healthy person is the identity.

Of course, the examples above may not always be 100% correct, and the possibilities are endless as well. As long as we’re able to identify how a person who had already accomplished the results we desire would be like, then we’re on the right track.

Step 3 – Focusing on the WHO by asking the right questions

Once we established what identity we need to encode to accomplish our goal, we then think about what sort of actions that a person with that identity would take.

The best way to approach this is to simply ask questions.

What do I mean by this? Lets use our examples.

Lets say that I wanted to become the “best tutor in the world”. Instead of jumping straight into what I believed that I needed to do to accomplish that, I just simply ask myself these questions before I do anything:

What would the best tutor in the world do?

• Invest time in preparing for lessons, OR just go into a lesson just winging it?
• Let students take it easy with the activities OR allow them to challenge themselves to maximise their potential?
• Give the maximum quality feedback to the students’ parents OR give the bare minimum?

The same of the goal to clear our skin. What would the person with the skin that we desire do?

• Do the skincare routine consistently OR do it when they felt like it?
• Eat cleaner foods OR eat whatever they want?
• Go to bed with a fresh clean face, OR with their makeup on?

And last but not least, the goal of achieving a particular body. What would a person with the body that we desire do?

• Take the stairs OR the elevator?
• Stick with a meal plan OR just decide what to eat as they go?
• Go to the gym no matter what OR skip the gym when they feel like it?

And sometimes, in certain situations, we can think about questions like these:

• When feeling tempted to eat something that we know wouldn’t be the best choice, instead of asking ourselves “Will I feel guilty if I eat this?” we instead ask “Would eating this give me the body that I want?”
• Or maybe when we’re feeling tempted to do something unimportant when we’re suppose to be doing something more important – instead of asking ourselves “Will this make me feel productive?” we ask ourselves “Is this actually something that will trick my mind into thinking that I am productive?”

It’s all about our mindset…

We really do become our habits

I’m pretty sure that we may have came across the quote “We become what we repeatedly do” or “We eventually become our habits“, and that is true.

Atomic Habits gave a really good idea that whatever action we take, it is going to be a tick to the identity that we are going to become.

For example, each time I woke up early, I gave more ticks to the identity of being an early bird.

Each time I wrote a blog post, I gave more ticks to the identity of being a blogger.

Each time I created another piece of clothing, I gave more ticks to having the identity of being a dressmaker.

And it’s the same with all my negative behaviours and habits:

• Each time I procrastinated, my identity would move closer to becoming a procrastinator.
• Each time I snacked, my identity would move closer to being a snacker.
• Each time I delayed in responding to messages, my identity would move closer to being a slow replier (and yes, I am delaying responding to messages as I write this… whoops)

So each time I repeated a behaviour, I was pretty much reinforcing that identity. The more consistent I was, the more ticks that I had on that identity.

But just remember, it doesn’t count for one-time actions. Like just because I did one drawing, it didn’t mean that I was an artist. The same with watching Netflix over working on an important project. Just because one time I decided to watch TV over working on one of my projects, it didn’t mean that I was lazy.

When it comes to consistency, it’s always consistency over intensity. Just because we did one day of a heavy workout, it doesn’t mean that we can skip the next day.

Just because we spent 3 hours practicing piano one day, it doesn’t mean that we can skip practice for the next three days.

The same with the example, just because we ate seven apples in one day, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to make up for the seven apples we missed eating for the last seven days (an apple a day keeps the doctor away?)

We Still Need Patience

Regardless, whenever we aim to accomplish a goal, and acquire or break the habits that come with it, it’s going to take some time. We’re going to need to be patient.

Even if the effects on the habits we’re doing are not shown in the moment, as long as we’re consistent with them, we will see the results in the long term.

While it seems like a complicated process to go from having a goal, to establishing an identity, to formulating an effective system, once they become our habits they will be automatic. Then in time, with consistency, we will end up seeing how those habits end up impacting our lives.

Don’t underestimate the power of 1% actions… 🙂

Book(s) this post was inspired by:

(not sponsored in any way!)

• Atomic Habits – James Clear

Disclaimer: If you think that any of what I had written was good, the credit actually belongs to the one whose book was the inspiration for this post. If there’s anything on here that you think is quite stupid, that’s 100% blame on me 🙂

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