20 THINGS I Learned Before I Turned 20

This is a bit of a different post to what I usually do… but at the same time, it’s still similar content to what I usually post.

Pretty much, I just recently turned 20. I had a pretty memorable birthday.

The most memorable part of my birthday was that I was able to go skydiving – it was both the scariest but most exciting thing that I have ever done.

But… enough about the highlights of my birthday. For fun, this blog post is going to list 20 things that I learned before I turned 20.

I did post on my Instagram 20 Things that I Learned Before I Turned 20.

In this blog post, I will be doing the exact same. Only this time I will just be elaborating what I mean by each point.

It will get a bit personal, but I do hope that you will get some value out of this. I know that for me, I learn a lot just by simply listening to someone’s story or experience (that’s why I LOVE Ted Talks).

Here goes…

1. God didn’t save my life from cancer just for me to give up when things got challenging.

Going a bit personal here.

When I was 2 and a half years old, I spent nine months going through chemotherapy and eventually surgery towards the end as I was battling cancer. I have bits and pieces that I still remember going through.

Whenever things got hard or challenging, after feeling the emotions of frustration, it always go back to the fact that God did not save my life from cancer, just for me to give up right then and there.

If God saved my life when it seemed impossible, why was I going to give up when things were getting challenging?

I look at these following photos, they make me excited on what God has planned for next.

Also, those photos are actually a reminder that I’ve gone through something a lot more challenging than a stressful time during exams, or little things such as making silly mistakes.

2. Continuing on from that, every single birthday is a blessing.

Yes, we all get excited when it’s a milestone birthday… 1, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18, 21… but honestly, just celebrating a birthday is already a blessing.

When I turned ages such as 11, 13, and 17, I used to say that those birthdays are totally irrelevant. It was only until my 19th birthday when I have come to accept that every birthday being celebrated is a blessing. It sounds cliche, but not every person on this earth is able to make it to the age that we turned.

3. God’s plans has always been better than what I had planned out in my head.

If I told my 15 year old self, five years ago, that at 20 years old, I will have a blog, a YouTube channel (at beginning stages), developing other income streams while studying and working casually, she would not have believed me.

We can all laugh at how ridiculous this sounds, but fifteen year old me actually thought that at 20 years old, she will actually be a married college student struggling with college and work just to pay for her rent. When I was fifteen, I didn’t even know that there was a such thing as developing other income streams, and pursuing other projects on the side.

And also, at fifteen, she hated writing, so telling her that she pretty much does writing all the time for her blog is probably going to confuse her a bit… 😂

Let me tell you, what actually ended up happening at twenty years old was way better than what I had pictured at fifteen.

4. All my learning disabilities (my hearing impairment and speech impediment) were actually blessings in disguise. They are reminders that I could really do anything.

As a result of my chemotherapy, I had lost my hearing, and as a result of my hearing loss, I got a speech impediment as well.

I used to be afraid of talking to people and get a bit hurt when people will make fun of me for not talking properly.

Up until this day, there are times when I have to repeat myself more than once, because people won’t understand what I say the first time.

I still say certain words wrong, and also, because of my hearing loss, I do end up speaking louder than usual.

Honestly, these are blessing in disguise in so many ways. Whenever I feel discouraged, I do look at what I have accomplished so far, and I remind myself that my hearing impairment and speech impediment would never be an issue unless I allow it to be.

5. The worst things that had happened (well, what I thought was the worst) had actually led to the best things that had happened in my life.

You may or may not have heard it before, but whenever we have a so called “good experience” or a “bad experience” it doesn’t matter… because you actually end up finding out that a certain experience is good or bad after a longer period of time.

There were many instances where I felt it was the worst thing that could have ever happened. BUT if those so-called “worst” things didn’t happen, my life wouldn’t happen the way it is now.

Certain so called “worst” things that had happened had led to be launching my blog, getting into my desired university course, and getting me a job that had provided me more value than I had ever thought.

6. To my 6 year old self – I know she’s boring and annoying, but your sister is actually going to become your best friend, and you’re actually going to be the boring and annoying one😂😂😂

Won’t elaborate much on this one.

Yes we have our differences today, but we get along much more now than we did when we were kids.

The lesson here is that you never really know who you’ll end up getting close to.

7. Second to prayer, taking action is going to cure the fear (pretty much my motto for doing skydiving) – *Magic of Thinking Big*

From personal experience, if we have a fear of doing something such as public speaking (or recently for me, jumping out of a plane), procrastinating it and delaying it is not going to make it go away.

The way to cure the fear is actually just doing it.

I see it like this:

If we are fearing something that we have never done before, it’s mostly because of the uncertainty on what’s going to happen and because of the worst case scenarios we plant in our head.

So then, when we actually do the thing that we have the fear of, that uncertainty that we have goes away because we know what actually happens, and the worst case scenarios we keep thinking about goes away as well, because we discover that they don’t end up happening anyway.

8. Don’t worry about what happened yesterday, or what’s going to happen tomorrow, just focus on that day at hand – *How to Stop Worrying & Start Living*

It took me a while to realise that the one way to destruct your present moment is to worry about the past, and worry about the future.

It’s a scary thought to think about how we spend all our moments just dreading on what happened in the past, and worrying about what’s going to happen in the future.

We only get to experience the present moment once, and if we do want to actually live our lives, we need to actually live in it.

The book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie had mentioned this really good concept about living in “Day-Tight Compartments”. It is where we start each day fresh and rid of the past, and only focus on that day at hand… not on what’s going to happen in the future.

Yes, it’s important to plan for the future, and plan out ahead of time what you need to do, but that is it. Dwelling on whether we will have time to finish a project by the end of the week, instead of spending that present day doing what we can, is not going to make us finish that project faster.

9. The enemy to any sort of success is not really laziness, but boredom (it’s why I love trying different things once in a while) – *Atomic Habits*

I didn’t really understand this until I actually experienced this myself… with this blog.

In the beginning, having a blog is fun. Writing blog posts about the topics that I loved writing about got so exciting…

Until I realised how repetitive it was, and I was starting to get bored of it. It got even more challenging when I felt that the blog wasn’t really going anywhere.

If I did end up giving up, it wasn’t going to be because I was just lazy and didn’t bother writing blog posts… I wasn’t. I was writing blog posts consistently every week but there was a point where it got so competitive it was boring.

That’s why I started to switch things up a bit… switch up my schedule (I’ve switched it up more than once!) and even experience with different types of content.

I’ve been trying a lot of new things. This is because there’s something about starting something new that is so exciting. If the thing that you want to do is starting to bore you, find ways to make it exciting again.

10. The small little actions that seem insignificant in the moment would eventually compound to a bigger impact. – *The Compound Effect*

I mention this concept a lot on my blogs. I am so intrigued with the Compound Effect. It always reminds me that whenever I have a goal that I want to accomplish, at the start, in the beginning, all those small changes that I make isn’t going to seem like a difference in the moment.

But over a longer period of time, that’s when noticeable differences would start to appear.

So that’s why we shouldn’t immediately assume that a good habit is not working if the result we want is not immediate and not working in the moment.

It’s the same with indulging in our bad habits – we shouldn’t assume that a bad habit is not detrimental because we’re not seeing any negative effects right away.

Whether it’s a good or a bad habit, the earlier the small choices start, the more powerful the compound effect works either for or against us.

Ultimately it is up to us on the small choices we make that will either produce the good results we want, OR the bad results we don’t want.

Read more about the compound effect in this blog post – The Compound Effect – A Life Changing Eyeopener

11. My grades in high school didn’t really matter after all 😂

I’ll keep this short – three years after graduating from high school, I’m studying the course that I wanted to get into, I have a casual job, I have this blog, and doing other projects on the side which I hope will help me accomplish my goals. Let me tell you, that I don’t think about the grades that I got in high school.

I don’t know why I stressed out about them so much, when in the long term it didn’t really matter because I ended up doing what I wanted to do anyway, and even pursuing more than I have ever imagined.

Lesson here is that the results and grades we get in high school is not the “be all, end all”. And it’s not going to be the definite determination to where we go in life.

12. It’s actually doing something, and then realising that you’re passionate about it, not the other way around – *The Delusion of Passion*

I have been guilty of not trying stuff because I wasn’t “passionate” about it. What didn’t even make sense was that I had never done that particular thing before, and I decided that I wasn’t passionate about it.

The truth is that passion comes at the end of the process.

I didn’t realise that I was passionate about writing, until I started having a blog.

I didn’t realise that I was passionate about making videos (even though I was camera shy for a long time) until I actually started making videos.

I didn’t realise that I was passionate about public speaking until I actually did public speaking a few times.

Pretty much, you can only decide if you’re passionate about something, once you actually do it for some time. It’s common sense that way right?

Read more on the other things I was wrong about “passion” – I Was Wrong About Passion This Whole Time

13. Your worth is not determined by your productivity.

There has been plenty of days when I felt guilty for not being “productive”.

Productivity guilt is a thing… and it’s the worst feeling.

We live in a society where we need to be grinding it out 24/7 and taking a break is a no go.

However,if you’re aiming to hustle it out 24/7 without giving yourself a break (including taking on too many commitments even though you know you can’t physically handle it), you will burn out.

It’s easier said and done to say that not giving yourself a break may do more harm than good. But when you think about it, the work you produce while under burn out or stress may not be of high quality and it may lead to doing even more work in the long term – and of course, that leads to wasting more time, and more beating ourselves up.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to be productive on a daily basis, but it should not cost you your own mental and physical health. And it should definitely not tear apart your self image.

We all need to understand that no matter how successful someone is, everyone needs a break once in a while. And to be honest, we are all going to relate to that successful person who acknowledges that we are all human and can’t be functioning on productivity all the time.

It’s 100% okay to have a break WITHOUT the productivity guilt.

Read more here if you’re not convinced – YES, It’s Okay to Have Non-Productive Days

14. You really actually learn from your failures more than your successes – *Failing Forward*

It took me so long to learn that in life, any failure is not going to be final, irreversible and most importantly, not avoidable. 

Failure is not something we take personally. We should allow that our failures give us the opportunity to focus on our strengths, come up with approaches to success, and eventually bounce back from our failure.

I know that I am guilty of being in denial of my failures and becoming more upset about it rather than doing something about it.

I can now look back at some of the mistakes that I have made and realised that I am glad that I made those mistakes. Making those mistakes and learning from them had saved me so much time in the long run.

They are a regular part of life, and how we respond to them gives us a good indication on who we are.

15. You never really “lose”, you either win or you learn – *Sometimes you Win, Sometimes You Learn*

It’s funny how a life lesson can sometimes be right in front of us, but we’re clueless about it until it’s pointed out.

Technically, in our life, every experience that we have, we never really “lose”. This is because every so-called “loss” actually turns into a lesson that we learn, and anything that we learn becomes a win.

It took me a while to stop being clueless about this lesson. In any experience we have in our life, big or small, there’s never really a big loss, it’s usually a big lesson instead.

16. Small steps → Big Goals ✨

I always love having big goals because they give me the opportunity to work towards something.

One misconception that I used to have is that in order to accomplish my big goals, I need to take BIG action and have an overnight transformation.

But that’s definitely not the case.

I had to read books, listen to podcasts, and watch motivational videos on YouTube to learn that every single person who had achieved their desire goal didn’t take big action, they took small steps which eventually accumulated to bigger results, hence accomplishing their goals.

It’s pretty much the Compound Effect (you know, the one that I mention several times over and over…), small little actions that seem insignificant at the time would eventually lead to noticeable differences in the long-run.

Small habits and actions count. We shouldn’t underestimate them, and we shouldn’t assume that it’s not going to lead to results right away.

17. You’re allowed to cry when you really need to 😂

What I am about to mention next is not really going to be a surprise but… it took me a while to learn this about myself.

Fighting my emotions never made them going away. Instead, it just made my emotions stronger and one way or another I was going to end up feeling those emotions anyway… except it would be more intensified since I bottled them up.

The lesson here is that the most effective way to get rid of our emotions (the ones that are not considered “positive”) is to simply just accept them. We are not defined by our emotions, and it may sound cliche, but we are only human.

18. Pray, Pray, and Pray Always

I mention a lot of techniques, solutions, and tips that I learn from the books that I read, the podcasts that I listen to, and the videos that I watch. However, my first ever go-to “technique” is prayer. After praying, it leads me to the solution on what technique/solution/tip I should follow based on what I was praying about.

Prayer has always been part of my life, so it felt a bit odd to not include this. Even though it’s not a new lesson that I learned, it’s definitely something I’m carrying with me through life.

19. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

The 12 Rules for Life was a great book that had mentioned this very quote. This quote was what had resonated with me the most.

To be transparent, I had spent a lot of my teen years even my childhood comparing myself to other people. Even until this day, I do still consciously and subconsciously compare myself to other people.

One of the great lessons that I had learned was that the only person we should really compare ourselves to is… ourselves. How much we had grown, how much we had conquered, how better we had become. That’s the only person that matters.

I’ve heard a lot of good quotes mentioning how it’s crazy that we compare our behind the scenes to someone’s highlights on social media. Hmmmmm… imagine a world with no comparison.. weird to think about.

20. Progress > Perfection 🙂

One of my favourite (short) quotes. Progress over perfection.

I am guilty of delaying starting things because I was waiting for everything to be “perfect” first.

Exhibit A is this blog.

I had launched this blog a lot later than I should’ve just because I was trying to make the layout and all my blogs “perfect”.

I’m still trying to work on focusing on the progress that I made rather than trying to reach perfection every single time. I mention it all the time in the hopes of it getting instilled into my mind.

Let’s look at this quote with real life companies.

Let’s take Apple for example… think about the latest iPhone. Was the first iPhone that was ever released had all the features that the newest iPhone has? Of course not.

From the very first iPhone, the creators became adding more and more features based on what they believed would make the next iPhone better than the last one. They launched the first iPhone and then every year they just made it better and better.

That’s how we should look at progress > perfection, whatever we want to showcase or launch, or whatever we want to start, all we have to do first is start. Then, once we start, then we can add those little “features” that would make it better. It’s hard to wait for the perfect time, because you don’t know if something is going to work until you actually start trying it.

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Related Articles:

Seeing the Bigger Picture of Failure

Why It’s Okay to Be Unproductive Once in a While

Our Diet is Not Just the Food We Eat

I Was Wrong About Passion this Whole Time

The Compound Effect – a Life changing eye opener

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